Thanks to current situations, this is what my mind brewed together..





Sense comes knocking on my door, loud and clear

to open my mind, I decide to let it all come in

It tells me of all the things I should never fear

These thoughts, those doubts, I could win


Now I'm determined to think a little lighter

Brush it off my shoulders, and smile a bit brighter

I could go on to contemplate think and ponder

But will it make me feel any better   I wonder


Ready for a new rollercoaster, without a doubt

Feeling confident, hands high up in the sky

Going up down and all around, hear me shout

Despondency and restraint I salute you; GOODBYE!

February 6^th 2008

February 8^th 2008

March 3th 2008

Just the other day, I found something unthinkable

In the attic it was, a mirror under a cloake; hid

Curiosity grew to a point where urges are unsinkable

The cloake had to go, so that is what I did

It was beauty framed in oak, shining in mint condition

Nothing else could capture my new born infatuation

That was the trigger for my all-captivating submission

Gazing forever at a sight unknown, it was such sensation

This woman figure, different by the look in her eye

Adventures and liberations replaced a single white sheet

Only one way to figure out; is it reflecting truth or lie

Breaking through this image, glass splinters around my feet

On a path of blinding light, I walk through pain with grace

Shading my eyes to unravell a mistery now, or not ever

All qualities devolp another side, is what I came to face

This flipside knowledge is taking a hold of me forever

Standing on a crossroad, shading my eyes for the sun

Looking at a place I used to know, yet not the same

One expierence at the time,

 Deze probeer ik al zooo lang af te maken.. maar t lukt niet. Waarschijnlijk omdat ik zelf nog niet weet waar ik heen ga.

22 april 2008

When stomachs turn, there is no running away

Sit quiet, learn what it wants to say

When stomachs growl, there is no shutting down

Move forward, with or without that frown.

There is no point to be desperately holding on

The more I sqeeze, the sooner it’s gone

Give time some room, let it move in it’s own speed

Let go of fear, I cannot cope with that need

Wild River  november 4th '07

The gates are open, the floods are pouring

Out with the old, in with the new

No more old times worth this mourning

It’s time for the strong, the few

All the words attrackt to the paper now

Born and then extracted from the mind

This feeling in me forces me to bow

Bend to this power I have come to find

Colliding memories, feelings and expectations

Mixed and tangled, unravelled once again

Finding my higher spirit through mental levitations

This serene silence I should hear, I can

Now, I have stopped in the middle of it all

On hold, here I obtain a perfect vision

Standing solid, nothing to make me fall

Reorganizing this mind is the mission

Sunday, november fourth twothousandandseven

I have taken a walk in nature today. I slept in, but woke up with a restless feeling. It’s out now..

It felt nice to notice and enjoy the changes in nature. All natural. I had such joy looking at each leaf on it’s own, beautiful in their own way. Some only show a line of autumn colours, others where fully packed.. It’s the diversity and yet all the same feeling that takes hold of me. Something bigger then everything it is, these and those climates we live in. Ever changing, but ever lasting.

This has not always been my favorite season, oh definitly not! There where these times, some years ago, that I could not stand this changing of seasons. My mind interwined and grew all grey with the clouds and it had to be the sun to cheer my moods again. I really saw no way out, but now, as times has passed I realize I used the weather as an excuse. An excuse for being happy? Indeed, for it felt so simple to be sad and so estranged to be happy. As if I didn’t allow myself. I am glad I cought myself showing this behaviour and growing out off it, growing happy.

The walk cleared my head, gave me that sparkling, warm feeling again. Awareness. Awareness of feeding my mind and soul with fresh air, the beauty of mother nature and the peace of myself in that moment. The unity. Of being one little spark in millions. My own light in the dark.

How is this feeling created, devestaded and reconstructed once again? I know my answer. It’s about not letting it slip, about always looking at the littlest things in live and nature with the biggest admiration. Smile, even if you don’t understand it. Because it’s all a silent mystery in the end.

And at night I feel it the most. The energy on the streets of the people before you, the lost sounds and looks. The fresh air, darkblue or inkblack sky. I enjoy it at best when I am on my bike without my music. Breathing it all in, moving past the day.

I don’t know by what reason this feelings comes to heart, but I know that I will fullfill it for myself. Get out, walk around, letting my spirit wander by the tops of the trees, scummage the ground, filled with either flowers, leaves, snow or rain and take it all in. Take it all in to where that one feeling is, spunging in all the good things and letting it drip into my vains time by time, like a favorite drug.

It’s the same a millions of things can make me feel, I realize now. This candle burning, music, lyrics, walks, conversations, silence, smiles, friends, the dark, the sun, water in many forms, this mind of mine, this life of mine. 


From big to small I embrace or accept what I find in me and all that comes along with that.

Friday, november second twothousandandseven 11:00pm

‘Growth’

Exploring, expanding

This endless universe in my mind

Looking, finding

Questions, answers and more to learn

Aware, relieved

For this is how it has to be

Realizing, organizing

These wires running through my head

Learning, expierencing

Pleasure only comes with pain

Laughing, reminding

This will bring me where I want to go

Dancefloor Bandit

Rare coincedence

At second sight 

Dance intoxicated

Seduce brown eyes

Kiss passionately

Rid common sence

Think rational

Simply be honest

Speak enlightened

Way past curvew

Find unintentional

Two minds connected

Rare coincedence

In the midnight

 1. 

Seeds of the mind

Inspiration is found in all ways live goes

( From the smallest to the biggest )

But only the aware wo-man knows

( From the uggliest to the fittest )

Grace and truth are all in the bearers eye

And it is to them to either open or close

To see it’s silent beauty or forever cry

Never wipe the tears to see this rose

In all our hearts a flower is held

Yearning for sun and cross-pollination

So let the wall of ice melt

And give this live some signification



2.

Some old lady sitting on a bench in the park

Dressed in layers of fabric and colors

Like the liguna always ready to disquise

All that once was important held deep and far away

Protected from the fluorescent light of hope and dreams

She made a choice

Letting go off any expectations that were hers or theirs

Finding comfort in talking with secluded oaks and silent daisies

The perfect way to keep people off is the act of crazy

And she plays the leading role with verve

 January 22th 2008

F#ck me, this and you

January 25^th 2008

Embrace

Sleepwalking in the land of dreams and nightmares

Imagining all that is or ever could be

Roaming this land on my own I follow a trail enlightend

With eyes closed I find another side of me

Taking all steps needed to turn this inside out

Finding it will forever change

Laughing at my own faults and the dark resides

It really isn’t that strange

Make yourself with ideals, opinions and taste

Dreams aren’t to take for granted

Without the light you cannot see the darkness

People that uppose get stranded

Without love or hate there is little to care about

Wholesale disregard is luring

Find dreams in nightmares and the other way ‘round

It’s really a simple case of maturing

Carry your own weight only to cast it aside

In time it will build up again

It’s a viscious circle not to be feared or avoided

But to accept as destiny of us; human

Friday, january fourth twothousandandeight

$ (_), |/|

Darkened beauty with a taste of sad, the lonely tear in the corner of an eye

There is nothing to cry about, but it’s so much easier than the brightest smile

Satisfaction alternates with empty to the bone and the regeneration starts again

This vicious circle of down, up and all around make for these torrents of words

Yet no action comes forth from the blazing blather, enclosed in these silent files

If only words where action, colour or even taste.. describing it is a tragic mirage

This misalliance with verve, to solely go to a place where objects have no name

Only to be catagorized and labled for generations to debate this sense of meaning

Hanging at the far end of some stranger’s chin, misery is looking down on its irreversible faith

No way but down and to pieces from here, or secretley dabbed away in a crisp hankerchief

All in all it was one of many liquid scars, fleeding from the sunrise in some anonymous soul

At the dawn of awareness light shines upon these marks and signs, drawn in power of suggestion

As the mind flows, the body should follow its pace in the alleged forest of tales and rumours

Struggle with a passionate fire to overcome all mazes, hills and boobytraps in the way just to be

Find this inner-calmth to be in every situation handed, preserve a watchful eye and an eager mind

Secretly it has always been progressing and evolving in anewed wisdom, beliefs and sights to see

Gevonden voorwerpen

De stilte van de toetsen op het bord

Als de woorden niet meer komen

Alsof het nooit meer wat wordt

Hier kan ik slechts nog over dromen

Geen zinnen, geen een idee

Heel alleen, zonder inspiratie

Soms speel ik niet meer mee

Zoiets lijd tot ernstige frustratie

De heerlijke beleving van het schrijven

Alles uit het hoofd direct op papier

Soepel en vloeiend, zo moet het blijven

Ergens in de ziel, een deur op een kier

Geen woorden, geen enkel plot

Heel alleen zonder inspiratie

Het zit zo vast, heel verrot

Zoiets lijd tot ernstige frustratie

En als er niets komt, dan moet ik toch

Doorgaan tot er eindelijk wat staat

Zo gaat het altijd en groeit dit alsnog

Maar helaas, ik hou geen maat

Alle letters, alles gaat door elkaar

Heel alleen met mijn inspiratie

Vast lopen is nu geen gevaar

Simpel schrijven, verlichting van frustratie

De heerlijke beleving van het schrijven

Alles uit het hoofd direct op papier

Soepel en vloeiend, zo moet het blijven

Ergens in de ziel, een deur op een kier

Alle letters, alles gaat door elkaar
Heel alleen met mijn inspiratie

Vast lopen is nu geen gevaar

Simpel schrijven, verlichting van frustratie

En als er niets komt, dan moet ik toch

Doorgaan tot er eindelijk wat staat

Zo gaat het altijd en groeit dit alsnog

Maar helaas, ik hou geen maat

                                            december 23th 2007

Clear as water

Picture perfect, looking at a spotlessly mowed lawn and a very carefully painted fence

Heads bended back in necks, eyes peercing, never imagining an ending to this clear blue sky

A stone, handbuild well, in the middle of it all, deep inside is cool water for the big cleanse

This is a perfect cure to the thinking and deciding of the who, what, how, when, where or why;

Brought to you with grace and the biggest of sparkling smiles, they offer you their finest drink

They appear from silent fog, at the thirstiest off moments and you are neither first or last

Looking in the brilliance off dark, reflecting sunglasses, they can push you to the outer brink

Will you resist, and roam and search on your own or embrace this cure, this posion.. fast ?

Choices are to either be made or to prograstinate and it is so easy to go with the sun-blinded crowd

Slowly walk into these darkened and abandoned places and find painfully refreshing thoughts, hid

Do not stay, do not drink this water, never be one of the simple minds, go, run hard and talk loud

Standing in line with a paint by number face, grinding teeth for a smile, you would kill that inner-kid !

Picture perfect, looking through a gap in the roof, admiring an inkblack sky scattered with bright stars

Bare feet, in touch with solid ground, taking in all this, outlived, lived off, for and with in other times

Take on this restless thirst,  thirst for knowledge and personal wisdom, slowly end these inner wars

Sowing seeds, growing your own flowers on  grassy nolms, imagine the  truth and think in rhimes...